Wedding Invitation Envelope Addressing Cheat Sheet
One of the most common questions couples ask while planning their wedding invitations is surprisingly simple:
How do we properly address the envelopes?
Between married couples, doctors, families with children, and plus-ones, it can feel a little overwhelming. Wedding invitation etiquette has long traditions, but modern couples also want language that feels natural and inclusive.
As a wedding stationer, I review hundreds of guest lists each year, and these questions come up all the time. So I’ve put together this guide to help you confidently format your envelopes before they head to print.
Let’s start with a simple question: whose name goes first?
There isn’t one universal rule anymore — modern wedding etiquette is more flexible — but here are the traditional and current guidelines couples typically follow.
Traditional Etiquette
Historically, the man’s name was listed first for married heterosexual couples.
Example:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wilson
or
Mr. Thomas Wilson and Mrs. Emily Wilson
This convention comes from older formal etiquette rules and is still commonly used.
Modern Etiquette
Today, couples often choose one of these approaches:
1. Either partner can be listed first
Many couples simply choose the order they prefer.
Emily and Thomas Wilson
2. Alphabetical order by first name
This is especially common for unmarried couples or same-sex couples.
Emily Chen and Thomas Wilson
3. Professional titles take priority
If one person has a professional title, they are listed first regardless of gender.
Dr. Lauren Dunlevy and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
Next, let’s walk through the most common situations you’ll encounter.
Married Couple (Same Last Name)
Traditional
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wilson
Modern alternative
Mr. Thomas Wilson and Mrs. Emily Wilson
or
Mr. Thomas and Mrs. Emily Wilson
(Many couples prefer this because both first names appear.)
Married Couple (Different Last Names)
Mr. Thomas Wilson and Ms. Emily Chen
Unmarried Couple Living Together
Ms. Lauren Smith and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
Family with Children
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wilson
and Family
OR
Mrs. Emily and Mr. Thomas Wilson
Jackson, Olivia, and Henry
(List children by age order.)
Single Guest
Ms. Lauren Smith
If you are invited a single guest with a plus one, you will want to note it on the envelope as:
Ms. Lauren Smith and Guest
Same-Sex Married Couples
For married couples with the same title, names are typically listed
alphabetically by last name or first name, or according to the couple’s preference.
Example:
Mr. Adam Grant and Mr. David Lee
or
Mrs. Emily Chen and Mrs. Lauren Smith
If both spouses share the same last name, you can write:
Mr. Adam Grant and Mr. David Grant
or
Mr. Adam and Mr. David Grant
Same-Sex Couples with Different Last Names
Example:
Ms. Lauren Smith and Ms. Emily Chen
If titles are not preferred, you can simply list names:
Lauren Smith and Emily Chen
Nonbinary Guests
If a guest identifies as nonbinary, it is best to avoid gendered titles unless they have expressed a preference.
Instead, use their full name:
Jordan Taylor
If they are attending with a partner:
Jordan Taylor and Alex Rivera
Some nonbinary individuals may use the title Mx. (pronounced “mix”).
Example:
Mx. Jordan Taylor
However, this title should only be used if the guest personally uses it.
Nonbinary Guest with a Partner
Example:
Jordan Taylor and Dr. Alex Rivera
Professional titles still take precedence when applicable.
Two Doctors (Married with Different Last Names or Unmarried)
Dr. Lauren Wilson and Dr. Greg Dunlevy
Doctor + Non-Doctor Spouse
Dr. Lauren Dunlevy and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
or
Dr. Lauren and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
(Doctor is listed first regardless of gender.)
Married Female Doctor
Dr. Lauren Dunlevy and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
(Doctor title still comes first.)
Two Married Doctors (Same Last Name — Formal Option)
Doctors Lauren and Greg Dunlevy
Drs. Lauren and Greg Dunlevy
(Correct but slightly less formal than spelling titles out.)
Judge
The Honorable Lauren Dunlevy and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
Military
Captain Lauren Dunlevy and Mr. Greg Dunlevy
The Most Important Rule
When in doubt, ask your guest how they prefer to be addressed.
Wedding invitations are about celebrating the people you love, and the most thoughtful approach is always the one that respects their identity and preferences.
